The 7 Mistakes to Avoid When Preparing His Religious Marriage

On the way to marriage, preparation is indispensable but the traps that watch the betrothed. Father Paul Denizot, from the Notre Dame de Montligeon shrine, at point 7.

The date of marriage is fixed. The place of reception, chosen. The caterer, reserved. The schedule of mass, booked. You have already met the priest who is going to marry you and determined with him the choice of preparation. Your calendar begins to fill up with all the material and spiritual tasks that you will have to accomplish until D-Day. So you think you've arrived! These few months that separate you from your wedding are dense and well framed. A real game of the goose of the fiancés. Except that ... the life path to two that opens up to you is long. Life expectancy is much greater than that of your great-grandparents and, paradoxically, the life expectancy of marriages shortens. The few months of preparation for marriage are therefore paramount. So do not miss out on it so be sure to avoid falling into the following errors.

1. Do not trust those who prepare us

Some young couples do not dare to react, to ask questions, to give their opinion, to the priests or couples who prepare them. Either because they are shy, or because they are passive and only expect to get a church stamp in order to get married. "It is absolutely necessary that they dare to trust themselves and that they take advantage of these meetings to exchange, to surrender. They will not have other opportunities to think this way, especially with the intense lives they have today. "

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2. Not wanting to confess

At the beginning of the preparation young couples are always advised to confess "to lay before their God their past, their future and rediscover the beauty of confession. An opportunity to make a sort of assessment of their lives at an instant "t" before God. "

3. Do not turn to others

There is a new characteristic in some young Christian couples today: their selfishness to two. They are focused on their little lives, their little holidays, their little work ... The risk is that their couple is not a communion for two. "Therefore, I invite them to give themselves to others, that is to say to invest themselves before their marriage in charitable works, marauders, visits to sick children etc to prepare to then give themselves to Their spouse and then their children. It is by giving oneself to others that the couple can best develop. A couple too turned on itself ended up being asphyxiated.

4. Do not talk about faith

It is sometimes tempting to talk only about the human issues of marriage, but it is necessary to take a faithful look at her couple and her life. The way in which a couple will live this religious preparation will give all the more meaning and density to his marriage.
This makes it possible to raise one's couple above the more material things but also, "it will be precious, in difficult times, to be helped by the Christian faith because it always brings hope. "

5. Do not make personal preparation

Each priest must take the time to take an interest in each of the couples he prepares. For this the group formations must be completed by times alone with the priest. For all couples are not at the same stage in their faith, in their reflection, in their love. "And if there are principles, general advice that applies to all, it is absolutely necessary to help the couples to wonder about their own journey, their assets, their fears, their joys ... Each couple is unique. "

6. Be proud and believe that there will never be any problem

There are young couples who think themselves so strong, so mature, so in love that they think nothing can happen to them. "It's touching but it's our role to force them to prepare for the conflict because it always happens. And that's not serious. What we must learn is to overcome it, to surpass it, to understand it, but also to forgive it. "

7. Let yourself be overwhelmed by the preparations for the feast

Throughout his preparation, he must regularly step back from the preparations for the marriage and constantly provide time for reflection and prayer for two. On the eve of the wedding, if possible, try to stop talking about material things: stop making table plans and take time for yourself and for your couple by taking a walk, reading, singing. And finally, before entering the church ... "It's over!" We do not bother about anything. They let themselves be carried away by the Mass. It is the Church that operates. I ask them to leave it to us and let themselves be led. "The emotion will then be at the rendezvous.